Diary of a Screwed Up Night
by Thankfulpolaroid
Summary: When a rebel girl receives a diary as a gift from her neglectful father, she writes down everything, including one messed up week. One night she's forced into giving Joker a cell phone at the police station and the Joker and Her become "buddies" in his Book. Isn't that a little screwed up? Joker/OC Nolan!verse I suck at summaries! rated M for a lemon, and other things...
1. Chapter 1

_**This is just a story I am doing when I am bored! Haha Welcome tooooooooo "Diary of a Screwed up Night" The whole story will not be just diary entries, there will be some actions written down. I Tried writing something like this when I was 13, but it got so much hate that I quit.**_

" _Dear Diary,_

 _My Name is Clara Jenkin, I'm a 17 year old daughter of a cop, whose father believes my "teen angst" phase will slowly dissipate if I write my feelings down in a notebook. Obviously my diary is going to hold my dirty secrets my father wishes to read._

 _I think I'm just going to carry this around with me everywhere until I get bored and write down everything that's happening around me, so if I die, people could read how fucked up I am in the head. I just got like a great idea, I'll even let people write in this thing._

 _Hopefully people don't draw penises or write cliché things like "Mark was here" That'd be so stupid._

 _Alright Diary, and person who will read this when I am deceased. Since my diary has no eyes and can't see what I look like, I think I'll describe what I look like._

 _So I'm about 5'6" I know that I'm tall, so you whispering "Hot damn A tall chick? Tight." Isn't needed. I'm also on the average side on weight. I am 145lbs, so I'm not like super skinny like a model but screw it, my hair falls to the middle of my back and I dyed it "Princess Ariel red", my eyes are brownish with like specs of blue, I have a black stud nose piercing, and a tattoo of a sword going through a heart. Poorly done, since I had it done by my friend who said he was good, but he actually sucked balls at tattoos, and then down my forearm in black fancy wording was "Freak", I planned on getting a sleeve. If you ever meet me in person, I'm usually wearing my black and red oversized flannel that covers my hands, some band t-shirt, dark skinny jeans, and brown "Van" high-tops with the white soles. My hair is always in a high pony tail._

 _Now that you got a picture of me in your head, I guess you could say I'm quite the catch? *Insert awkward wink here* just kidding. You wouldn't want to date me, I'd make you do crazy shit! I'd make you get in my piece of shit bright blue truck, turn on some Papa Roach, and we'd speed down Gotham City until we heard police sirens. Trust me, I'm not pulling over, I usually lose them, then we'd go to a party where the police show up, and then we'd try to escape (do a shitty job at it) and spend the night at Gotham City Zoo –Sorry I mean police station! Then we'd do it all over! When I'm ungrounded._

 _Officer Shit Face can't hold me down._

 _You're probably wondering where my mom is in this picture? She's dead, I never met her._

 _Moving on._

 _My dad's calling me down stairs, so I'm going to go down and listen to him._

 _-End of Entry One"_

Clara slammed her diary shut taking her head phones out of her ears. She pushed it into her bag and threw her over shoulder backpack on.

"Coming!" She called getting up, her brown high-tops hitting against the floor. She pulled her flannel on correctly and walked down the stairs. She looked at her dad, with several men wearing clown masks and she knew something fucked up was about to happen. "Fuck dad, what did you do?"

She finished walking down the steps and crossed her arms. She didn't know her father worked for the Joker's men.

"Hun, I need you to do something small for me…" Her father spoke, he was trying to sound nice and not yell at her for swearing at it.

"Oh Jaysus…Did you sell my soul to The Joker?!" Clara freaked and looked at one of the men that tilted his head at her she shook her head at him, and pointed to her father giving a "what the fuck" look.

"No! You just…are the least predictable person to help Joker." Her father said. Clara looked at him with a funny look.

"Fuck that."

"Mouth!" Her father exclaimed.

"Traitor!" Clara pointed at him.

"I just need you to hand him a phone!" Her father glared throwing his hands in the air.

Clara glared back at him and looked back at the man looking at her with a tilted head. She looked back at her dad.

"I'll pay you." Her father said. Clara looked at him with an emotionless look.

"Nah, I'm not getting paid to do something illegal. Something I like to do!" Clara said. "I'll do it though, because I don't have a choice. Obviously." She said with a glare. "And plus, I'm going to die one day anyway, let me die helping The Joker. It'll be better than saying I was murdered by a crazy abusive boyfriend I'll most likely have one day." As her father gave her a mad look holding a flip phone. She grabbed it from him. "And it'll be your fault because I have massive daddy issues because you didn't give me enough attention growing up." She was basically quoting what her therapist said in their group therapy session. She flipped him off and then everybody in the room. She left grabbing her keys.

"I'm gonna go get arrested." She said with an emotionless look. She stuffed the phone into her high-tops, even though it was uncomfortable. If she was going to help the Joker she was going balls out. She reached into her bag and pulled out her hand knife. She stuffed it in her other high-top.

She got in her car and turned her music on all the way up, Papa Roach "getting Away with Murder" began blaring from her radio. She smirked to herself. "Fuck yeah. Perfect music for the perfect time." She said speeding off down the road.

Awhile after that she stopped at red light a cop was by her car. The cop looked at her, and gave her a look. That must have been her cop. Or Joker's cop. Whatever. She revved her truck at him, and he smirked. She winked at him and even though it was red she took off fast sticking her head out the window as she drove like she was dog and looked back at him. She flipped him off.

"COME AT ME BITCH!"

 _ **A/N: Tell me what you think! I know it's lame and it's supposed to be funny and edgy. Lol this will be something I'm writing when I'm not writing my serious fanfiction. Lol this is supposed to be like a Joker/OC type thing but like kind of not. It's hard to explain. There will be mentions of it.**_


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: So I hope I'm not confusing anybody. So at every beginning of a chapter it starts with a diary entry, and I'm going to try and get it to end with one too. This book does skip around places.**

" _Dear Diary,_

 _SO diary my piece of shit father has me working for The Joker at the moment. I had to get arrested and Get Joker his cell and I tossed in a knife because fuck it._

 _So getting arrested was easy, but the aftermath was a bitch. Joker's goon police officer didn't like that I didn't immediately pull over and when I pulled over in an ally, he punched me in the face._

 _So I'm rocking a busted lip, and a bruised cheek. I look like a stereotypical grunge bitch whose boyfriend beats her when he's drunk. Whatever though, when I got to the police station Joker's goon, didn't even put my bag away, he brought me to Joker's cell, looked around when Gordon stopped him._

 _It went down like this…_

" _Why are you putting her in with him?" –Gordon_

" _Cause Ching Chang Chow over there will sue us for putting a "dangerous" criminal in the same cell as him." –Joker's goon_

 _*Gordon looked at me with a look, he'd seen me here many times blah blah blah.*_

" _Why does she have her stuff?" –Gordon_

" _Because Gordon…What if Joker face decides it's a wise idea to come at me? I can hit him with my bag and yell "I Don't know you!" at the top of my lungs like a girl scout being pursued by an old man." –Me_

 _*Gordon chokes on air and hands keys to Joker Goon*_

" _Stay away from her." –Gordon to Joker_

" _I don't think she looks like a girl scout." –Joker *looking at me with a smirk*_

 _I'm pretty sure when Joker said that I died. And you know what Person reading this. (Assuming this is the future and you will be lucky enough to never have a Joker) Joker is as scary as the TV portrays him to be! White face, scared red lips, black around the eyes, purple…lots of purple. I bet under that make up is a very handsome man-_

 _What am I talking about? I shouldn't be thinking like that and now I'm blushing and Joker won't stop staring at me, so I'm gonna be right back…_

 _I gotta wait for the right moment to hand Joker this cell phone and knife._

 _Did I mention I'm sitting basically at his feet because the people on the side of the bars keep trying to grab me and asking for handies? No? Well yeah I'm sitting on the floor looking at Joker's shiny shoes._

 _Let me tell you what? I'm scared._

 _*TO BE CONTNUED* "_

Clara shut her diary and looked at Joker as she shoved it into her bag. She hugged herself and looked around. "You look nervous is it the scars?" She heard Joker's voice say. She guessed he knew why she was here or she would have been dead already.

"No? It's the fact I gotta toss a phone at you any moment." Clara whispered. "You know? Help the most infamous guy in Gotham get a phone call." She said leaning on her hands. Joker licked his lips, licking the inside of his scars as he did so. She figured he wouldn't answer in case somebody heard.

"I don't scare you, not even in the least bit?" She noticed how amused he looked. His whisper sounding raspy, husky and if he was trying to keep their talk a little secret. He was letting out giggles as he spoke.

"Oh no, you…YOU," Clara pointed at him "Scare the living shit outta me." Clara nodded. Clara dropped her hand and watched as Joker bounced up and down with laughter.

"You're honest." Joker said suddenly "I like that." He growled while he spoked.

"Sweet, I guess that makes you my buddy." Clara winked and gasped as some man got dragged into the station, screaming about the pain and the voices. Clara looked at Joker who stared at her with a wild expression.

It was now or never.

Clara took the phone out of her high-top and slid it across the ground watching as Joker grabbed it on the ground put it in his pocket, and then she pulled the knife out of her shoe and tossed it to him. He looked at it, and then at Clara with a smirk.

Joker had only planned on getting the cell, not the knife. He shoved it in his pocket and leaned back looking ahead with a bored look.

Clara sighed in relief that, that was over and pulled out her diary. She began writing.

"Okay continuing here

 _Oh fuck! I think my adrenaline is pumping!_

 _I literally just tossed Joker a cell phone and a knife. OOOOH Shit son._

 _Everything's going back to normal now, and Gordon's looking back at the Joker and I. He's looking away and we're safe. I hear Joker chuckling I think he sees what I'm writing._

 _Yes I am writing down everything that happens Joker.-me_

 _He's laughing at me. Rude. Oh shit, someone just took Joker out of the room._

 _Ok no Joke…But damn Joker was scary! And damn fine! Lol look at him. Oh wait you can't._

 _I think my teen self just finds him attractive because he's dark and scary. It's so alluring and mysterious. I think I'm down for Joker face. I mean I wouldn't mind getting a little bit of his face paint everywhere._

 _I think I'm just liking him because I know it'll piss my dad off._

 _HOLY SHIT BATMAN JUST CAME OUT OF THE INTERAGATION ROOM! WHAT THE FUCK._

 _Everybody's following after him._

 _Joker must have done some shit._

 _G2G_

 _-Peace out Girl Scout "_

Clara shoved her diary back in her bag and stood up throwing her bag on her shoulder. She walked over to the bars and held onto them her sleeves of her flannel covering her hands as she did so.

"Holy shit…" She whispered. As most of the GCPD left. She laid her heads on the bars.

"Can I go home now?" She called out to one of the officers.

"Shut up!" He yelled at her. She flinched and raised an eyebrow at him flipping him off. "Don't make me come over there and break it." He growled at her.

Clara looked at her middle finger, and then raised her other hand flipping him off with that hand too. She looked away dropping her hands. She looked over when the really big guy fell over and paramedics came into the cell looking him over.

At that moment Joker had decided to come out, with the knife Clara had given him on an officer's neck. Clara looked at Joker.

"Is that a cell phone?" One of the paramedics whispered looking over the big guy who had fallen. Clara looked over and saw the bulge in his stomach that shape of a cellphone.

Clara looked at Joker again who was putting the phone to his ear. Clara smirked and went to the farthest corner of the cell and ducked down putting her bag over her head.

 _ **Boom**_

Clara still felt her ears ringing, she lowered her bag and looked around the room. Officers were dead or passed out, prisoners dead that were celled with the man that went 'boom'. Clara laughed quiely to herself. She stood up and looked at Mr. Lau who looked concerned for his life.

Clara then looked to her cell, it was wide open. She smirked.

She then did something unexpected. She looked to the Joker.

"Want a ride?" She asked as Joker made his way to Lau's cell. He looked over to her, as if she was as crazy as he was.

"You're old enough to drive?"

Clara almost flipped him off.

 _ **A/N: Please review my friends! :) I hope you like this chapter!**_


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